My life is a raw testimony to the fact that God is extremely gracious. I’m becoming weary and if and when I die please let this be known to all men living, ”that God truly blesses, cares, uplifts, and glorifies even the lowest and simplest of men, the one who probably doesn’t deserve the attention, but that’s who God still gives it to!”
I’ve seen & witnessed things. I’ve done things too. I bless God for giving me the right exposure since day 1 of my life. For allowing me enjoy and to witness almost every important human experience before I depart this world. I remember a time before I got admission to college, I was in the early stage of teenage life and I was a voracious reader of books. I had read so much of the Holy Bible, studied the book of Genesis alone for about six months (I was fascinated with biblical account of man’s creation & early beginnings) and had read so many philosophy books. I studied Rene Descartes empiricism, Plato’s Republic, Socrates’ philosophy, Bertrand Russell’s argument on the existence of God etc
I became frustrated as everything I read didn’t really answer my deepest questions such as when exactly the world would end, why bad things happen to mostly good people ( in fact I read James Dobson’s book on that subject), why people get away with injustice, with Africa as my case study. I was so frustrated and angry I wanted to end my own life! I needed meaning to my life, my real purpose aside just going to school, getting A’s, being a good son to my parents, worshiping the God of a religion that I grew up to meet as a child, and being a good citizen of my country (that one I didn’t have the choice to choose myself too!).
I locked myself up in the toilet that early Saturday morning, my family started looking everywhere in the house for me. My dad saw me through the window, thought I was just joking and tried to play his usual pranks on me. He saw I meant serious business and raised alarm. Everybody in my immediate family came to the toilet door that day & I didn’t open it. Even my most revered uncle called, I didn’t take the phone. I was crazily mad at the whole world and it had been reflecting in my actions and reactions for a while before then. And don’t be thinking I was high, I was not even smoking. I was just a social drinker too. My mind just developed quite early.
Looking back, I think I changed my mind on killing myself not because anybody or anything talked me out of it, not even the Holy spirit did! I changed my mind when I thought of what would happen to my mum after I was gone, she would have taken her own life too immediately I died. She was already crying and I heard from inside the toilet. Now, what she did, would have done afterwords and how I changed my mind is called LOVE. I found my answer that day. Everything else don’t really matter but the love you share with your loved ones! My quest, ambitions, dreams, future plans don’t really matter, love surpasses them.
I found my purpose through that. I discovered I needed to live not only for myself but for my mum, because I love her. Later on, I got admitted to study Law and the reactions from old friends and colleagues gave me another reason to live. I discovered so many people were looking up to me, worst of it all, I used to look up to some of those people! Some friends came to see me from long distance just to congratulate me on another milestone and to tell me I was a somewhat living hope for them. Some called my phone, people I hadn’t heard from since childhood and high school days found me. They told me what I’d never thought of myself. I began to love life. I wanted to live. I finally found my purpose- to live for others! To all those who truly saved my life, I love you all and I will never let you down! Mind you, you saved my life if I’ve ever crossed path with you before in life. You saved my life if you read this!
…To be continued…