PARENTAL CARE

The parents should be a child’s number one role model. It’s a proven fact that children who had their parents as their major heroes tend to have better self-esteem, humanly feeling, dignity, sense of leadership, courage and all other great virtues compared to their peers who didn’t see their parents as role models worthy of emulating. A son who’s so much into his father tends to, in future, choose a similar career choice or path as the father while a daughter who feels close to her mother tends to lean towards whatever her mother does and be a modernized version of her. The genesis or foundation of anything a child becomes later in life starts from the home as according to the adage, ‘’charity begins at home.’’

The home is where greatness is built. That’s where leaders are first made, even before they go to school and meet people in the society. A child will first show signs of leadership, ambition, covetousness and so on at home. Unlike the general belief, the home is actually where bullying starts, not school! It’s funny to know that even a bully bullying his classmate or junior in school has once been bullied before. When you’re getting bullied by your elder brother or drunkard father and you know you can do nothing about it, being subjugated becomes your life and it reflects on your personality. I have talked to some girls in school who had previous rape experiences and are so used to it that they feel every other guy is going to rape them. That fear and thought could actually attract more of such experiences into their life as according to the natural Law of attraction.

Moreover, children who have parental care tend to have more compassion and love towards their mates and people they come across in the society compared to bitter children who are unhappy from home. A result of this love and happiness that must be felt from home is what we see in rogues, street thugs, prostitutes, scammers etc. Most of these crooked individuals never felt love from home, they never knew what parental care or motherly love was. I once spoke to an ex-convict before who told me that growing up, he never got a gift from anyone before, not even a pencil! He said he grew up with the believe he had to take everything he possessed by force from people which later led to him being convicted on robbery related charges.

Growing up in the kind of streets and neighbourhood I was raised, I still think the only reason me and my brother were different to the other kids around was the love we got from doting mother and the ever-caring dad. My parents were always afraid back then if we got sick, it was always as if you just won a lotto if u fell ill because you got anything you requested for. We got what we needed on a normal day, but when you’re down with malaria fever for instance, you could just make wishes and saw them granted. My childhood was like that. We had care and love and that reflected outwardly. Maybe that’s the reason why I grew up to be this young man who wants to help everyone in distress or poverty.

Parental care and love is what brings out the best in little children. I still believe that’s the only solution to gang-banging, street crimes, prostitution and all these social menaces that has to do with long-time identity crisis. I was watching the tv recently when a Public relations consultant was given a brief interview and he was asked questions on prostitution in Nigeria and the solutions. He professed to have been PR for some prostitutes and that due to his close works with most of them he has come to discover that every prostitute in the world have a common problem. He called it foundational identity problem. Most of these prostitutes grew up to being bullied by men, their first boy-friends, raped by their trusted uncle, and all. Some were raised by single mothers who gave birth to them as a teenager. Some had drunkard and chain-smoker fathers who came home to batter their mum. The prostitutes grew up to hate themselves and the world and saw no good essence of living carefully in it, hence the care-free life of trading their body for money, even when there is strong possibility of HIV/AIDS and subsequent death. It’s all identity crisis. The PR man gave one insight as his solution to prostitution that day. He suggested we begin to show love and care to the prostitutes, give them what they never had and maybe they will change because in the end, it’s all not just about money.

Parental care is even more important in the life of a boy. I read the Wikipedia page of a Chicago born gangster rapper known popularly as Chief Keef recently and I had more insight on this subject. The rapper, born sometimes in 1995 as Keith Cozart, was raised by a single mother who gave birth to him when she was just 16. He had to leave and stay with his grandmother. At 16 also, this young rapper had his first child and he’s not even paying child support after dumping the mother of his child. Like father, like son you say? This rapper is less than 19 but has been convicted on crime charges ranging from heroin manufacture, misdemeanor, firearm and unlawful possession of weapon, parole violations, DUI to marijuana possession. He’s also being investigated for some murder cases in the Chicago neighbourhood killings. Now, I strongly believe that had he gotten some parental love and care, this very talented young man could have had an opposite lifestyle to this one which sees him to jail cells almost every month. I wonder if he even has time to enjoy his little wealth if he really goes to detention and rehab that much. I’m a big fan of his rap style & music but not of his life.

Meanwhile, I’m not trying to rule out the chances of the less privileged children to succeed in the world. It’s very possible to defy all odds, I’m also a product of that and I’m still developing. Floyd Mayweather, Barack Hussein Obama, including Nigeria’s own Jimoh Ibrahim et al are good examples of regular kids who defied all odds and still became useful to the world. But my contention is, how many people can defy such odds? Will it then not be fairer to create an enabling environment if possible, for every child to grow better? Imagine Serena and Venus Williams without their father, Richard Williams’ influence. Imagine Kendrick Lamar without his mother naming him after the singer, Eddie Kendricks. That probably was the major hand that pointed his destined path to him!

Children who got care have a higher propensity to become meaningful and useful to the society than those who just grew up care-freely. What do you want to expect from an individual who has never been serious all his life? A care-free life of course, with no determination to succeed, no sense of duty, and no confidence to face whatever life brings. Parental care and love brings up all-round, made young men and women who go into the world to conquer it. Why? Because they have been trained in all ways! They have seen good examples in a successful lawyer as father and a courageous nurse as mother for example. These kids do not shiver when they get to school or face a large crowd, they have seen examples at home.

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